Prepping for the Cut

How to remain calm when in the eye of the storm

The next few days were a whirlwind of activity. A new and exciting emotional rollercoaster, with peaks of intense fear plummeting into acute anxiety. My lack of appetite did not help. Since I only met the basic iron level requirement for surgery I had to take extra iron pills which had to be taken WITH food, and then deal with the constipation and the inability to push. I could not afford to lose any iron. I was only one point above the base limit to quality. Its ironic: if I’m too weak they can’t operate, but if I’m too strong, well, I don’t qualify either. Blueberries, raspberries, homemade kombucha, nut butter, hemp seed, chlorella powder, cranberry powder, lettuce, cabbage, half an organic orange with peel and warm water.

Drink.

Take iron pills.

Drink slippery elm to keep my bowel moving.

Smile.

I had a new fear. That of missing the phone, yet another added trigger for my anxiety. “What if I missed the call!? I’d miss my surgery, be riddled with pain and blood loss indefinitely, if I EVEN made it that long” was a mental dead weight. Yeah, fun times in my head. I bet you wish you were in there too. Not.

10:15 Thursday morning the hospital called. I spoke normally. No, I did not sound weak nor unstable. I’d reached a point that if IT was meant to be IT would happen. I had to think that way or let my brain melt with all the worry. “Good choice Siobhan”, I said to myself not realising I’d even made that decision. 

“Are you taking any medication?” The hospital woman asked. “Yes, I’m on progesterone and I’ve had two Lupron injections to stop my menstrual cycle”. I could hear her typing it into the computer. “Are you taking any vitamins or supplements?” I paused feeling sheepish about sharing the arm’s length list. “Be honest Siobhan”, I thought and started to recite the list. “Slow down please”, she asked. “corte align, turmeric, zinc, fish oil, glutathione…..” She continued to type. “You should stop taking the zinc, turmeric and the fish oil before surgery. I’m not sure what corte align is so its best if you stop that as well” she instructed me  “any blood thinner type supplement needs to be stopped. Have you had surgery before?” she asked. I paused, surprised at the question and then responded “ yes a few, I react to the aesthetic”. There was another pause and more typing. “I’ll get the anaesthesiologist to call you. We need blood work before surgery. Are you able to get to the General today?  She asked. “Whatever you need I’ll make it happen” I said and we ended the call. She emailed me the blood requisition and I walked downstairs and headed to the hospital. 

A friend from undergrad texted from the B.C. every day asking how I was feeling. Her brother was a gynaecological surgeon so she supplied my with Canadian medical insight and what to ask my doctors which was very helpful since I was the only person who could advocate for myself during Covid. Her insight was invaluable. She’d been urging me to get my covid vaccine but I kept putting it off for fear of an adverse reaction given my current inflammatory state and weakened body. “Did you get a vaxx appointment yet?” She asked almost daily but we’d had a few days of not chatting. “You won’t believe this but I’m having my surgery on Tuesday, so no vaccine for me at the moment. Besides my brain can’t handle much more at this point. Just trying to stay calm is my goal.” I responded.  “I think we can often only handle one big thing at a time. So the Endo right now is your limit. Don’t worry, a few more weeks won’t make a difference” she responded. 

I got in the car, drove to the hospital and stood in line for the blood tests. I had downloaded Shonda Rhimes book My Year of Yes when she says “yes” to every request and writes about the amazing things that occur. It was welcome happy distraction as I waited hours to lose yet more blood.

With the blood tests done I drove to the health food store and bought arnica cream and pellets, valerian, vitamin e and a list of other items my Chinese Dr had prescribed to prep for surgery. She wanted me to start 4 days before. Lucky me, I had just enough time.